K is for Kelly

If cheerleading were a person, this is how I would describe our relationship: a bad romance.

I knew it since I was sixteen and was totally crazy in love since day 1, were together for 3 years. Looking back, it's a pretty abusive relationship. Happy moments aside, it has sunk me into depression, left me broken and bruised countless of times but the joys I experienced far outweighed the negative.

Many times my mum told me to quit but you know me, I'm just too stubborn to listen. I thought after 3 years, enough was enough. However after taking a hiatus it got me missing it all over again... and I found myself in a vicious cycle once more. Like an abused partner in a relationship, I keep making excuses and I just can't walk away. Why can't I just simply walk away from it? Because... it's hard to separate myself from it because it's part of my identity and I've achieved so much through it.

But I guess my ankle was the final straw. I've been pondering over this matter for the longest time, and I've felt so tormented and worried about it. Sure, I can walk fine now. But I can't jump nor run, and the mere idea of not being able to do marathons, dance or play touch whenever I feel like it kills me inside. There's no way for me to heal, unless I take a break completely.

I've been asking God on what I should do, and I'm so glad that I've heard Him. It's amazing... it feels like a stone has lifted off me as soon as I make my decision about this matter. Indeed... we have to let go of something we've got, to move on to something we've not.