too fast, too much

The other day, James just informed me on MSN that we should start preparing for AGM in Oct so as to follow the academic calendar. I was pretty taken back for a while, that would mean that our term would be 10 months or so, as compared to the previous committees who had 12 months. At that point of time, I felt like there's still so much I wanna do for Magnum. I don't know why I felt that way.. it's puzzling..

All these past 10 months, I spent most of the time for Magnum, till the extent whereby I lost trust n faith in myself to do anything right. I hadn't been leading the committee well and all of us were different and separated as a result. And it's all my fault.

I was too short-sighted. I was only concerned about getting the performances and stuff done month by month. Didn't set goals for both the committee and the team, perhaps that's why the team's in such a state now. I hate myself for letting this happen to a team that once stood so strong.

Ever since I took over, stuff that i did included:
- taking the initiative to make a motivational card for people in nationals. I knew it would be a very trying period, and we all need something to keep us going, believeing that we can do it. Just a small token of thought and concern for the team. thanks to ron for fetching it from the printer for all of us.

- arranged for bus transport (with safiq) to attend NTU interhall cheerleading competition so the juniors can get some sort of exposure to cheerleading. Countless trips back & forth Chengyee's office and all... everything turned out alright i guess.. :)

- NP and BA openhouse was quite a headache. corresponding emails over many days, hafta arrange for the school helpers to help transport the mats back n forth the atrium and blk 72, bringing the music where-ever we went for the performances

- Booking of the dance studio during nationals period was a bitch. the one at blk 73's always booked by the cultural dance groups and all, then the one at blk 16's always occupied with s&w people learning dancesports, dancesports ppl practising their dance and nra people as well. was really hard to come across a time whereby we can actually have the studio to ourselves. There was once I forgot about collecting the dance studio keys and I hafta contact the president of nra for the keys.. haha.. those were the days man.

-booking of transport for nationals heats and finals (with safiq).. wrote an letter of invitation to mr chia to ask him to watch our competition.. sourced for sports bra with siti.. sourced for tights with ron.. and hafta get him to collect them for us.. went to kismis lodge with chengyee to check a couple of the rooms and knew about the admin stuff... checked all the rooms with lenny and this other person, should be jessilyn lah hahaha. saw samantha with siti together with chengyee with regards to the shoes..

- went to make the plaques of appreciation for james and lenny for the victory dinner.. came up with the stuff to be engraved on it.. and paid with my own money... *sniffsniff* chengyee lost the receipt!! cheeeedan. and it was a hefty 63 bucks okay.. and that woman didnt bring money despite the fact that we were going to make something... best lah.

- writing proposals for FOC and sports camp performances... and receiving calls from them. FOC a total headache cuz that deborah woman was a total pain in the ass and gave me loadsa headaches while i was working during my ITP period. worrying for the juniors because lenny didn't come down for many trainings which affected their progress in learning the routine before the performances... however the sports camp one was worry-free because james was coaching them.. arghs.. life.

- recruitment drive & cookies sales: a headache, we were all wrapped up with stuff and forgot to make the necessary booking for the booths initially. in the end, i booked the booths, and searched for recipe to bake chocolate chip cookies with. borrowed ron's kitchen to bake and at the same time there were people over at my kitchen baking as well. it was a pretty much fun experience. :) got pictures to show as proof okay. when the day came, me and ron transported the cookies to the clubhouse and packed them for sale. set up booths with ron in the atrium because everyone else was having classes.

- then next came the training session for the freshies to come down. hafta call up 99 people on my list and each rejection came like a slap on my face somehow. so idiotic. how dare those people put down their names for fun and cause me so much pain and misery calling them up. waste of my time man~ then worse was the training session, so little ppl turned up and lenny went on about saying how the turnout of the freshies will reflect on my committee... it was damn hurting at the point of time lah.. we were the ones who were doing all the work and all he did was to look and to comment.. arghs!!

-then the training camp rolled along.. proposal for waiving the fees of dorms was written and approved.. booking of dorms were easily done.. booking of equipment was the hard part.. enlisted bern's help in it and im thankful we had sucha good staff advisor.. haha.. safiq, siti, ron and i went to source for the food to be consumed during the camp... with the canteen vendors and also visited sheng siong... witnessed safiq and siti fighting it out in the car... damn funny :) good memories... then training camp took place... siti, jessilyn, and i went to the dorms to clean up and placed the mats and blankets. we went crazy.. haha :) singing rubbish songs, taking videos/pictures... hehe, was also the game-master for one of the station... was fun lah hahaha :) too bad i didnt carry a camera with me.. wasted. then hafta open the damn dance studio with the aircon not working.. running around like a shengjingbing person trying to get things done... ahaha..

-next was the FAS workshop... we all went as a group to source for fruits and bottled water at little india.. haha.. then in the end, yy did the job in getting the fruits and water for us.. :) then earlier on beforehand, hafta design the certificate for the workshop... also hafta check for the booking of the hall as well with chengyee.. which i received some form of unhappiness reaction from bern cuz i didnt go to him regarding magnum stuff.. on the day itself, wrote names of magnum peeps for nametags and also stuck all the paper that stated each team's name so they can put their belongings there... we also hafta help the various FAS cheerleading teams with cheerleading skills and techniques.. tiring day lah cuz i was sick as well.. and subsequently sick for the next few days. totally sickening.

sigh. i still wanna do alot of things for magnum... maybe it's time to pass it on to someone who's fresher to take over... i'll just try to do my best for the remaining months..

what i could have done:
- get the committee to organise more stuff for members to get everyone involved.
- motivate the committee to serve the team together with me instead of facing it alone
- get everyone in the right frame of mind to the challenges ahead
ARGHS I HATE MYSELF

just as one headache's clearing... another one is clouding my head. lenny has left us some unfinished business and i'm pretty unhappy about it. why does people always do this to me??! hate it when i feel like im facing it alone...