10 commandments of being my boyfriend

I think I shall state the 10 commandments of being my boyfriend. Nah, I'm not that difficult.

Thou Shalt Not Dress Sloppily When Going Out with Moi.
Oh com'on, I take time to dress nicely to go out with you and it's just basic respect that you do the same too. Wouldn't take you too long to just have a clean shave, dress decently and smell nice, no? Call me self-conscious, whatever, but I think you would feel good if your other half is dressed smartly and not sloppily right? Would hate the thought of people staring at us like how did they ever attract each other and become a couple. Urrrgh.

Thou Shalt Not Talk too much about self unless I feel like talking.
Sometimes, silence is better than saying anything at all. I'll get sick, really sick if you keep talking about you, yourself and everything else non-stop. If I don't feel like talking, don't force me into a conversation. I'm tired of talking, explaining myself all day long during countless project meetings and the best you could do is to enjoy the silence with me. And wait for my cue to say it's okay to talk.

Thou Shalt Not Question Moi.
Very simple to understand, no? I hate being shot more than 5 questions about the same thing. Think carefully, choose wisely the burning questions you need the answers to. Will not answer after the 5th questions. I'm sick of explaining myself. When I inform you of stuff, take it as it is. Ask questions only if necessary. I repeat, I will only entertain 5 questions. Choose your 'Who', 'What', 'When', 'Where', 'Why' & 'How' questions carefully.

Thou Shalt Not behave lovey-doveyily if I'm not in the mood.
If there are days where I want less contact with you, just let me be. I hate the feeling of being clinged on. Some days, I just dont wanna be touched. If you are really dying for some physical contact, let me offer you my knuckle sandwich.

Thou Shalt Not Behave in an insecure manner under any circumstances.
I hate insecure guys to the core, period. I like guys who are confident (read: not overly-confident) of themselves and I'm attracted to them. I don't like guys who keep wondering what's going on when I'm out with another guy friend. I fricking hate this line "Have fun, but don't have too much fun without me" Like WTH!?! It's an irony isn't it? I would very much prefer my boyfriend to say "Hey, enjoy yourself and tell me more when you get back alright?" + *hughug*. there you go, a model example of how it should be like.

Thou Shalt Not Ask my friends to baby-sit me.
I know it's a really sweet gesture to ask my friends to make sure I drink enough water and keep myself warm and whatnot, but I'm a 19 year-old, not a 9 bratty year-old! Let me take care of myself until I've proven otherwise kk?

Thou Shalt Not Whine.
There's a fine line between acting cute and whining. And I like neither. I like my guy to have a sense of humour and not afraid to laugh at himself. And make me laugh as well.

Thou Shalt Not Call more than 4 times a day.
You know, my life as a president and a mass comm student is hard. I can't get through a goddamn day without having to pick up a call regarding project meetings or performance requests. Sometimes I just need that bit of silence to keep my sanity and I would really appreciate that bit of silence to better enable me to proceed on with my projects. Sometimes, I don't need that idle chat. So let's keep it to 4 calls a day alright? One morning call (repeated morning calls not counted) and one call before I sleep each night. You've got 2 calls left to use, with discretion. Keep calling, I'll keep count. :)

Thou Shalt Not State boundaries of my freedom.
I need to feel free in a relationship, think you've known that very well by now. The tighter you hold on to me, the harder I'll struggle to break free from your clutches. Give me space, I'll give you love. Fair trade, no?

Thou Shalt Not...
Because I'm female, I suffer from bouts of fickle-mindedness. So this last commandment will be left dangling, until I make amendments as and when I deem fit. *sigh* I love being a female. :)