I know the moment I get back home, I must give thanks to God and my guardian angels!

I was pretty irritated + traumatised by my previous instructor in the lesson before and frankly I was dreading my lesson today for fear of getting attached to her again (she yakked/criticised everything about my driving non-stop, and I just couldn't hear myself think). =( So on my way to BBDC, I was reading my manual, doing my usual last minute revision and recalling of all the little tips the instructors before had taught me. I stepped into BBDC, made a quick trip to the loo and prayed really really hard before I went to print out my session slip.

So... the slip came out and I was assigned to vehicle 118, with Mr. Soo as my instructor *insert sad face here* My favourite instructor was Mr. Tan and he's usually in 117... So I just sat down, prayed that Mr. Soo will be a kind instructor who will erm... restore my confidence in my driving ability hahaha!

And... he was a great instructor! :) And as we were driving out, we passed by vehicle 117 so I stretched out my neck to check if the grass is greener on the other side... and it turns out that the female instructor would be my instructor if I was assigned 117!! *PHEW* Thank goodness hahaha!! =D

It was really fun today! We went out of the usual Bt. Batok route and headed to CCK/Teck Whye area teehee! =D Funfunfun!

God, I'm really thankful that you've blessed me with a great instructor who was warm and friendly (I was really comfortable with him). I should know that You've my best interests at heart and I should be patient even though I can't see the plan You have for me at first. Dear God, I'm having my next driving lesson on 3rd Nov and so.. please please please x 17653189246 send Mr. Soo to be my instructor! =D

Lord everyday
I need You more
On wings of Heaven I will soar
With You

Sometimes... I like to pick at newly-formed scabs, just to see if the wound below still bleeds and let the pain wash over me. I should really stop this habit and let time do all the healing...

sometimes, i wonder if i'm happy, truly happy..

sometimes it just feels like... the demons of my past are taunting me, haunting me... and they would hang on tight to me and never let me go even though how much i try to shake them off.

i should go to bed now.

Stay - Lisa Loeb

You say I only hear what I want to.
You say I talk so all the time so.
And I thought what I felt was simple,
and I thought that I don't belong,
and now that I am leaving,
now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you.
Yeah yeah, I missed you.
And you say I only hear what I want to:
I don't listen hard,
don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
to anyone, anywhere,
I don't understand if you really care,
I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no.
So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up,
and this woman was singing my song:
lover's in love, and the other's run away,
lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay.
Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
dying since the day they were born.
Well, well, this is not that;
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown.
And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure.
You try to tell me that I'm clever,
but that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you.
You said that I was naive,
and I thought that I was strong.
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you.
Yeah, I miss you.
You said, "I caught you 'cause I want you and one day I'll let you go."
You try to give away a keeper, or keep me 'cause you know you're just
scared to lose.
And you say, "Stay."
And you say I only hear what I want to.

I've been out the whole day and I'm kinda tuckered out. Woke up bright and early for ba ku teh with my sister, uncle, aunt and cousin at Rangoon Road, this is my first time! It was good, I love soaking you tiao bits into the soup... =D

Then uncle dropped us off at the National Library cuz I wanted to check out this book about the healing properties of water by Mr Masaru Emoto after it was mentioned in yesterday's service. We all know positive thinking and speech have an effect on us, but who knew it could be proven scientifically? I was really amazed at the ice crystals formed in water taken under a high-precision microscope when it was exposed to different words, images and thoughts. I didn't manage to find the exact book I was looking for, but the one I borrowed right now will suffice :)

Dropped by the office to put down my gym gear. Silly me brought everything except for my shorts and tee-shirt, how brilliant. *tsktsk* Then headed down to Orchard Hotel for the Australia Open Day, listened to the talk that was relevant, did a career testing that did NOTHING (the top 3 job suggestions for me were what, actor, tour guide, fashion model -.-") to help me out in deciding which degree I should settle for and I filled in my application forms for QUT and UQ... Gosh, we only left at 4ish and went over to Citylink Mall with the sister to check out monthly planners and files...

Then went back to town to meet Joshua for dinner while sister made her way home. Dinner at Al-Azhar and boy, the place had really moved with the times! Orders were taken with this PDA gadget thingy similar to the ones that the service staff from McDonalds' use and I think the place had a makeover as well...

Let's hope for a awesome week ahead! I hope I can have a Sunday where I can totally relax and recharge myself....

Been busy for the past week or so, everyday's packed with things to do, places to go and so on. In short, I think I'm pushing myself too hard.

I really envy my mum for being able to take block leave every now and then, spending a whole week at home doing nothing while I can only dream of that.

Here's how my ideal week-off would be like:
- Sleep in late on some days
- Wake up early on some mornings and go jogging around the neighbourhood while it's still in deep slumber
- Catch up with those books lying around at home but I had no time to read usually
- Watch my DVDs with no interruption
- Pack my room and if I really manage to pack it, go and pack the rest of the house that's in a perpetual mess
- Go for classes because I want to, not because I feel like I have to
- Just do/ make something creative, haven't been doing this for a while
- Have some quiet time for reflection

Feeling kinda lost without my PDA, must stop procrastinating and start charging it when I get back home. I'm.... just tired. And I'm not exactly sure what I'm tired of.

The Ice Is Getting Thinner

Death Cab For Cutie - The Ice Is Getting Thinner
We're not the same, dear, as we used to be.
The seasons have changed and so have we.
There was little we could say, and even less we could do
To stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you.

We bury our love in the windsory grave
Along came the snow, that was all that remained.
But we stayed by its side as the days turned to weeks
And the ice kept getting thinner with every word that we'd speak.

And when spring arrived
We were taken by surprise when the floes under our feet bled into the sea
And nothing was left for you and me.

We're not the same, dear,
And it seems to me
There's nowhere we can go
With nothing underneath.
And it saddens me to say
But we both know, well, it's true
That the ice was getting thinner
Under me and you.
The ice was getting thinner
Under me and you.

Stomach's not feeling well still, I really tried cutting down on my food intake but tell me how do you resist dimsum and peking duck!?! We had lunch at Asia Grand Restaurant, and nonsensical questions were asked hahaha... Needless to say, I ate much more than I planned and my stomach suffered for it.. But today I'm doing better :) Survived on liquid stuff until dinner time and the stomach's feeling good!

Been sleeping early for the past few days already (I just don't feel like doing anything else), and hence I wake up at 5ish in the morning without fail. So... I've been jogging on days where I wouldn't be hitting the gym during lunchtime, and doing yoga on days where I'm going to the gym in the afternoon :) A pretty healthy lifestyle if you ask me, let's hope I can stick to it haha!

Ooooh, just started watching Gossip Girl and I like it already! =D

My stomach isn't feeling too good these days. =\ Somehow I always seem to eat more than my stomach can handle (but seriously sometimes the stomach feels like a bottomless pit!) and last night I almost puked on the bus ride home but thank goodness I managed to hold it back in.

So... lesson learnt: I should eat real little from now on. I just had a peanut butter sandwich for dinner at 9ish because I was watching ugly betty while throwing stuff out since the afternoon and I don't think I ate alot the whole day... Just a piece of caramelized biscuit, a slice of marble cheesecake, baked salmon with baked potato, a mini pack of tidbits and my peanut butter sandwich. Sigh, maybe I should have just stuck to having yogurt for dinner. ]=(

Joy Journal

1) I'm thankful for the mid-week public holiday! I had the time to go for Yogasana in the morning, take a nice nap in the afternoon, meet Joshua for dinner and even play with my Blythe dolls that I've neglected in the past months due to my busy life now.

2) I had a great driving lesson last Tuesday. As usual, I drove at night and it is beginning to feel damn natural driving. :) I had a good instructor and we chatted about my grouping and he told me that I'm assigned to the group of instructors with the highest passing rates.. It turns out that they teach students with revoked licences.. so yah.. ahhaha! It rained during my session too... So I got to experience how it's like to drive in the rain... hehehe Ooh, I drove myself home too! =D

3) I've found this bracelet (made of buttons) that I made so long ago but never gotten round to completing it. I got my mum to help burn the ends so it would be sturdier. It looked really good and I surprised myself with what I'm capable of achieving... Haha!

4) I'm glad that my secondary school classmates organised a meet-up earlier on! It's nice to see them after the last meet-up... :) We went to the rooftop garden, shoot pearls at the kois (oops!) =X, and snapped pictures =D And I realised... we are still pretty much kids at heart haha!

5) My skin is in better shape now! I took the risk to use the Neutrogena advanced solutions pore refining facial peel despite my skin was feeling a tad raw (boy, it stung!) and then topped up with TheFaceShop's collagen sheet mask. My skin looked and felt so much better, maybe taking collagen pills on a nightly basis and sleeping at least 6-7 hours helped too. :)

6) I'm surprised that I'm able to sleep without music at night. Silence is deafening, but I've been sleeping without the radio turned on for almost 1 week now. There's something wrong with the hi-fi and the static really bothered me, so I had to sleep without my music...

7) My mum got me Ugly Betty Season 2! =D I can have my own series marathon on Saturday!