[edit] forget it, sleep didnt work this time. and i cant fricking open my mouth without feeling pain. feeling kinda fuckedup and angsty still. *chants* shall not be angry shall not be angry shall not be angry.
BUT HOW NOT TO BE WHEN MY DEAREST SECRETARY NEVER GET BACK TO ME AFTER REPEATED SMSES AND SHE DOESNT EVER PICK UP HER PHONE?! HELLO, PERFORMANCE IS JUST TOMORROW AND I HAFTA GO ALL OVER SINGAPORE AGAIN TO PICK UP UNIFORM AH?! YOU THINK I VERY FREE AH?!
this is fucked up.
[/edit]
need to sleep. tomorrow will be a better day. angst be gone!
note to self: keep that temper and volume in check.
vendredi, décembre 30, 2005
mardi, décembre 27, 2005
hey there, im looking for "perfect selfishness"
"waiting for the perfect love?"
"no. even i know better than that. i'm looking for selfishness. perfect selfishness. like, say i tell you i want to eat strawberry shortbread. and you stop everything you're doing and run out and buy it for me. and you come back out of breath and get down on your knees and hold this strawberry shortbread out to me. and i say i don't want it anymore and throw it out of the window. that's what i'm looking for."
"i'm not sure that has anything to do with love," i said with amazement.
"it does," she said.
"you just don't know it. there are times in a girl's life when things like that are incredibly important."
"things like throwing strawberry shortbread out of the window?"
"exactly. and when i do it, i want the man to apologise to me. 'now i see, Midori. what a fool i've been! i should have known that you would lose your desire for strawberry shortbread. i have all the intelligence and sensitivity of a piece of donkey shit. to make it up to you, i'll go out and buy you something else. what would you like? chocolate mousse? cheesecake?"
"so then what?"
"so then i'd give him all the love that he deserves for what he's done."
"sounds crazy to me."
"well, to me, that's what love is. not that anyone can understand me, though. for a certain kind of person, love begins from something tiny or silly. from something like that or it doesn't begin at all."
"no. even i know better than that. i'm looking for selfishness. perfect selfishness. like, say i tell you i want to eat strawberry shortbread. and you stop everything you're doing and run out and buy it for me. and you come back out of breath and get down on your knees and hold this strawberry shortbread out to me. and i say i don't want it anymore and throw it out of the window. that's what i'm looking for."
"i'm not sure that has anything to do with love," i said with amazement.
"it does," she said.
"you just don't know it. there are times in a girl's life when things like that are incredibly important."
"things like throwing strawberry shortbread out of the window?"
"exactly. and when i do it, i want the man to apologise to me. 'now i see, Midori. what a fool i've been! i should have known that you would lose your desire for strawberry shortbread. i have all the intelligence and sensitivity of a piece of donkey shit. to make it up to you, i'll go out and buy you something else. what would you like? chocolate mousse? cheesecake?"
"so then what?"
"so then i'd give him all the love that he deserves for what he's done."
"sounds crazy to me."
"well, to me, that's what love is. not that anyone can understand me, though. for a certain kind of person, love begins from something tiny or silly. from something like that or it doesn't begin at all."
vendredi, décembre 23, 2005
this is a sign...
my mum just gave me 100 buckaroos.
gave it to both me and keldachaimeizi because she got her year-end bonus already and she wants to give us a lil loving.
mummymummy, i really appreciate that x)
mummymummy, your wish is my command. i will take it and spend on getting that pop 9 lomocam that ive been dreaming of for some time already. x)
since i get no emotional fulfillment, materialistic ones will do just fine.
gave it to both me and keldachaimeizi because she got her year-end bonus already and she wants to give us a lil loving.
mummymummy, i really appreciate that x)
mummymummy, your wish is my command. i will take it and spend on getting that pop 9 lomocam that ive been dreaming of for some time already. x)
since i get no emotional fulfillment, materialistic ones will do just fine.
jeudi, décembre 22, 2005
random survey
three people you talk to online
four people you see at school
three people you love going out with &&
three people in your sms inbox.
1. Guosheng
2. Bern
3. Andrew
4. Jennifer
5. Cheryl
6. Jiewei
7. Dowell
8. Magdalyn
9. Velda
10. Ju Leen
11. Larry
12. Yong Yao
13. Jimmi
and here we go;
So what do you think of number 4?
i think she's a pretty good friend, with loadsa advice, frank and straightforward.
How would you feel if number 4 slapped you on your face?
i'll slap her back. x)
How nice is number 6?
very nice, though we are not that close as we used to be when we were in year 1. x)
On the scale of 1-10, rate how good looking number 5 is.
not too bad, 6?
Will you ever fall for number 11?
cannot lah, he's like a big brother to me like that.
Honestly, if number 8 met with an accident, what would you do?
i will go visit her in the hospital, like every day! bring her loadsa laughter and a cuddly stuffed toy with a card to show that she's very much loved.
What sport would you play with number 12?
muahahhaa, CHEERLEADING! x) it's our game.
What if number 1 got a boyfriend?
are you crazy!? he's crazy about girls. hehe
Do you hate number 9?
NO! she's been through secondary school with me and had tons of good times together x)
How much do you like number 2?
ilovehimtobits. =)
Will 13 and 7 make a good couple?
hahaha, totally GAY! cannot imagine lah.. the two of them have never met each other before, but though i see some similarities... hmmm..
Would 14 kill you one day?
= i have loadsa imaginary friends, which one are you talking about today?
Who do you like more? 3 or 10?
10! 3 talks about work all the time... all work no play makes me really bored...
i now tag
everyone who have seen this. x)
four people you see at school
three people you love going out with &&
three people in your sms inbox.
1. Guosheng
2. Bern
3. Andrew
4. Jennifer
5. Cheryl
6. Jiewei
7. Dowell
8. Magdalyn
9. Velda
10. Ju Leen
11. Larry
12. Yong Yao
13. Jimmi
and here we go;
So what do you think of number 4?
i think she's a pretty good friend, with loadsa advice, frank and straightforward.
How would you feel if number 4 slapped you on your face?
i'll slap her back. x)
How nice is number 6?
very nice, though we are not that close as we used to be when we were in year 1. x)
On the scale of 1-10, rate how good looking number 5 is.
not too bad, 6?
Will you ever fall for number 11?
cannot lah, he's like a big brother to me like that.
Honestly, if number 8 met with an accident, what would you do?
i will go visit her in the hospital, like every day! bring her loadsa laughter and a cuddly stuffed toy with a card to show that she's very much loved.
What sport would you play with number 12?
muahahhaa, CHEERLEADING! x) it's our game.
What if number 1 got a boyfriend?
are you crazy!? he's crazy about girls. hehe
Do you hate number 9?
NO! she's been through secondary school with me and had tons of good times together x)
How much do you like number 2?
ilovehimtobits. =)
Will 13 and 7 make a good couple?
hahaha, totally GAY! cannot imagine lah.. the two of them have never met each other before, but though i see some similarities... hmmm..
Would 14 kill you one day?
= i have loadsa imaginary friends, which one are you talking about today?
Who do you like more? 3 or 10?
10! 3 talks about work all the time... all work no play makes me really bored...
i now tag
everyone who have seen this. x)
mardi, décembre 13, 2005
monday's over! 4 more days till break
im happy im happy im happy!
i've once again survived one of the busiest days in my life =D
law of ability: whatever's put in my life, i can handle it!
been in the radio studio since 8ish in the morning and i've been spending every waking moment in the radio studio, recording and editing the news bulletin for monday and my assignment #2 for the entire day. that's done all during all the free time i have in the day.. and i'm proud to say it's all ready for submission! :D might not sound fantastic.. but it's all hardwork k? thanks to jessilyn, jasmine, justin, jiewei, redza, yongyao, kelda chai, eunice and shuling for their voices in my assignment. :D Without you all, this assignment wouldnt be done!
presentation for Mindquest wasnt that bad, could get away as soon as we finish presenting. :) but i think ehh, the presentation wasnt too good.. cuz as i hear my groupmates present.. it didnt quite sound right. think i prefer looking at the slides. and OMG, they changed my slide design loh! from something simple to something too complicated and overloaded. tsktsk* and the lecturer made noise about it. not my fault, i dont care na.
yesyesyesyesyes! my well-deserved break is coming really soon....
i've once again survived one of the busiest days in my life =D
law of ability: whatever's put in my life, i can handle it!
been in the radio studio since 8ish in the morning and i've been spending every waking moment in the radio studio, recording and editing the news bulletin for monday and my assignment #2 for the entire day. that's done all during all the free time i have in the day.. and i'm proud to say it's all ready for submission! :D might not sound fantastic.. but it's all hardwork k? thanks to jessilyn, jasmine, justin, jiewei, redza, yongyao, kelda chai, eunice and shuling for their voices in my assignment. :D Without you all, this assignment wouldnt be done!
presentation for Mindquest wasnt that bad, could get away as soon as we finish presenting. :) but i think ehh, the presentation wasnt too good.. cuz as i hear my groupmates present.. it didnt quite sound right. think i prefer looking at the slides. and OMG, they changed my slide design loh! from something simple to something too complicated and overloaded. tsktsk* and the lecturer made noise about it. not my fault, i dont care na.
yesyesyesyesyes! my well-deserved break is coming really soon....
dimanche, décembre 11, 2005
AHHHHHHH!! Just let me screeeaaammm!!
I'm feeling very frustrated now.
I've so-called finished my radio assignment 2, but i realised its not that completed, unless I get it recorded.
I've finished my part of my weekly monday radio bulletin, but i can't edit and compile the remaining stories unless my groupmates send in their stories to me!
And I have to read news at 1-freaking-pm tomorrow.
Before that, I need to go to the radio studio to:
- record the news piece for 4pm and for submission
- record my assignment 2 which is due on tuesday
and that is like at 8am in the morning because i have 10am class.
which oh by the way consists of a group presentation to the class.
and i have adcre assignment 5 due on tuesday to worry about.
i think this is a tad too much for me to take after one week of missing out on classes.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
I've so-called finished my radio assignment 2, but i realised its not that completed, unless I get it recorded.
I've finished my part of my weekly monday radio bulletin, but i can't edit and compile the remaining stories unless my groupmates send in their stories to me!
And I have to read news at 1-freaking-pm tomorrow.
Before that, I need to go to the radio studio to:
- record the news piece for 4pm and for submission
- record my assignment 2 which is due on tuesday
and that is like at 8am in the morning because i have 10am class.
which oh by the way consists of a group presentation to the class.
and i have adcre assignment 5 due on tuesday to worry about.
i think this is a tad too much for me to take after one week of missing out on classes.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
samedi, décembre 10, 2005
x(
Since I've been back in SG, I've been thrown with loadsa designing work to do. like hello, i just came back from Manila, and it's not even a holiday trip loh! I came back on monday and I have work to be submitted on wednesday already. so crazy can. x(
and the worst part is not designing... it's realising at the last minute that someone changed your design without telling you.. and the website has to be uploaded in like less than 1 hour's time!
@^*&*^%#!
then i hafta rushrush finish it and then take a cab down to school to see the lecturer in charge.
okay, it might have been my fault for not reading the contact reports and just do my work based on what others have told me. butbutbut, this entry is for me to rant and rave and complain!
so tired, so lack of sleep, so cranky.
and i have two radio assignments due. im going craaazy! i need 3 campus stories, and im in charge of editing the entire fricking bulletin by sunday night and i hafta record it down and read the news on monday. i can feel a headache coming on.
i need to plan my time very very wisely now. dont even have time to think of my christmas wishlist. *sigh* seriously, for the week ive been away.. i think i've missed out quite a bit for radiojourn. shit.
3 campus stories:
- NP student
- New sports deck
- SCORE Games for the inmates --> need to go down to school later to see how it's like. yay! extra points for a scoop! x)
shit. im feeling very panicky now! i dont know how to do my radio assignment!!
then later to taman jurong to see my team perform at 8+... good luck guys =) sigh. time time is so precious now..
back to work.
and the worst part is not designing... it's realising at the last minute that someone changed your design without telling you.. and the website has to be uploaded in like less than 1 hour's time!
@^*&*^%#!
then i hafta rushrush finish it and then take a cab down to school to see the lecturer in charge.
okay, it might have been my fault for not reading the contact reports and just do my work based on what others have told me. butbutbut, this entry is for me to rant and rave and complain!
so tired, so lack of sleep, so cranky.
and i have two radio assignments due. im going craaazy! i need 3 campus stories, and im in charge of editing the entire fricking bulletin by sunday night and i hafta record it down and read the news on monday. i can feel a headache coming on.
i need to plan my time very very wisely now. dont even have time to think of my christmas wishlist. *sigh* seriously, for the week ive been away.. i think i've missed out quite a bit for radiojourn. shit.
3 campus stories:
- NP student
- New sports deck
- SCORE Games for the inmates --> need to go down to school later to see how it's like. yay! extra points for a scoop! x)
shit. im feeling very panicky now! i dont know how to do my radio assignment!!
then later to taman jurong to see my team perform at 8+... good luck guys =) sigh. time time is so precious now..
back to work.
jeudi, décembre 08, 2005
back safe & sound from manila :)
I'm back I'm back!
=) I've enjoyed myself tremendously on the trip! hehe.. though we didn't really shop [we only shopped on the last day for less than 2 hours *sniffsniff*].
Oh first and foremost... I must say thankyew to all for making my birthday so memorable! =) I thought I would sleep my birthday away.. but my team mates won't let that happen! Audrey, Eunice, Crystal, Vincent, Xiwen, Siti, Ju Leen, Feon came to my room at midnight with a cake! =) so incredibly sweet! it was a celebration for both me and xin hehe... but that girl was damn tired and she knocked out the moment we got back from having dinner on our first night there. okay, since i'm already at my birthday celebration, i shall continue to talk about part 2 of it. After the performance at the TS dinner on the 28th [damn, im always performing on my birthday], we were doing crazy stuff and all.. then dion made xin and i blow out a candle in celebration of our birthdays and the rest were singing happy birthday for like dont know 4-5 times lah! so this lady ho mei mei.. i think she's from the top management of heritage hotel.. she came up to us and asked if it's our birthday and she personally delivered two cakes to our room! :) so amazing eh? hehe ^^)
my birthday cake! *beams*
and had an additional surprise... *beams* for me to know, for you to find out if you dont! haha =)
i really enjoyed myself there.. performing.. taking crazy loads of pictures.. making friends with the YTSAs... hehe.. being a witness at juleen and kenny's bogus wedding ritual.. =p singing sessions on the bus.. palm-reading... visiting the casino.. watching vincent trying to eat the one-day-old chick still in its egg but never managed to grow into a chicken.. *yikes!* going to competitions.. shouting ourselves hoarse to cheer for team singapore... singing the national anthem up to 6 times a day! [meaning we witnessed 6 golds that day] you can really feel the sense of belonging and pride surging inside you at that very instant... and as usual, we entertained ourselves and the audience by singing the singapore songs we know loudly+proudly... hehe =)
the philippinos are really warm and friendly. =) at the swim meet, we even learnt their pinoy pinoy dance from team trace cheerleaders! =) and we received applause from the audience! =p they even wanted an encore so we can do it again... haha but too bad, the dj didnt seem to hear us.. so yeah. :) they asked for my email addy so they could add me on friendster.. which they did! and one of them even added me on MSN! and now we are like chatting everynight.. non-stop, no breakage of topics.. =) and bon jovi [one of them] asked me for my earrings for souvenirs.. haha.. they are so cute lah. then after each event we attend, there will be people asking us for our clappers/bongpong sticks.. =)
the gymnasts are really great.. all the executions of backhand springs, layouts, twist layouts seemed damn easy when they did all that! so effortless and graceful.. till now i still can't do it properly =( i miss the thai gymnastics coach. *sigh* but oh well! they got gold! :) so proud of them.. and most of them are really young... and with abs to die for. =( i think ah, to be a swimmer, you must be kinda good-looking or cute.. cuz.. look at our swimmers! most of them/majority of them are eye candies! haha...
then the table-tennis match was really a seat-gripping one... cuz the men's team was really driving us crazy! whenever we are leading by a good 5-6 points... yangzi/ xiaoli [can't remember which] will start losing.. and will be on par with the opponent. we cheered and shouted till we went bonkers.. and victory was sweet of cuz. :) cuz we sang national anthem again! hahahaha
and oh! we were also approached by locals asking us what sports are we competing in and all.. hahaha... there was once i was at stars n stripes and the waiter asked me, and i lied without batting an eyelid, saying that i was a gymnast. and he believed me! haha, damn funny can!?
=) we see how friendly our athletes are... how game they are to take pictures with us.. especially remy.. he's like damn crazy lah! didnt manage to take a picture with him though.. :) was really enjoyable...
me & jia wei
marcus cheah + me *beams*
our liasion officers at the table tennis match.. they learnt our cheers so they could cheer along with us! :D
jessilyn + i at the table-tennis match
ooh! xin and i always went to eat at outlets that cant be found in singapore.. the food's not too bad.. but i still prefer singapore's. :)
Welcome to Jollibee!
this is really cheese fries... cheese on cheese!
And then we have.... Greenwich!
shared between me and xin! damn nice lah can.
of cuz there were bad parts in this trip.. but the good ones overruled them all. :) like lousy, inefficient, indecisive leaders (but it was really fun, going against them, speaking up for what we want, just trying to get things done our way)... the splitting up of groups... always changing the buses we are taking for the day.. getting rashes, tendonitis and like being misunderstood and i got so angry that i threw the remote control in my room against the tv cabinet and it shattered into like 4-5 pieces.
but i think this is one of the best trips magnum ever went on together.. we had so much fun.. all these can be seen in my flickr photo album... so must go check it out! cuz it's damn time-consuming trying to upload them here on my blog.
http://flickr.com/photos/kellychai/sets/1529248/
=) I've enjoyed myself tremendously on the trip! hehe.. though we didn't really shop [we only shopped on the last day for less than 2 hours *sniffsniff*].
Oh first and foremost... I must say thankyew to all for making my birthday so memorable! =) I thought I would sleep my birthday away.. but my team mates won't let that happen! Audrey, Eunice, Crystal, Vincent, Xiwen, Siti, Ju Leen, Feon came to my room at midnight with a cake! =) so incredibly sweet! it was a celebration for both me and xin hehe... but that girl was damn tired and she knocked out the moment we got back from having dinner on our first night there. okay, since i'm already at my birthday celebration, i shall continue to talk about part 2 of it. After the performance at the TS dinner on the 28th [damn, im always performing on my birthday], we were doing crazy stuff and all.. then dion made xin and i blow out a candle in celebration of our birthdays and the rest were singing happy birthday for like dont know 4-5 times lah! so this lady ho mei mei.. i think she's from the top management of heritage hotel.. she came up to us and asked if it's our birthday and she personally delivered two cakes to our room! :) so amazing eh? hehe ^^)
my birthday cake! *beams*
and had an additional surprise... *beams* for me to know, for you to find out if you dont! haha =)
i really enjoyed myself there.. performing.. taking crazy loads of pictures.. making friends with the YTSAs... hehe.. being a witness at juleen and kenny's bogus wedding ritual.. =p singing sessions on the bus.. palm-reading... visiting the casino.. watching vincent trying to eat the one-day-old chick still in its egg but never managed to grow into a chicken.. *yikes!* going to competitions.. shouting ourselves hoarse to cheer for team singapore... singing the national anthem up to 6 times a day! [meaning we witnessed 6 golds that day] you can really feel the sense of belonging and pride surging inside you at that very instant... and as usual, we entertained ourselves and the audience by singing the singapore songs we know loudly+proudly... hehe =)
the philippinos are really warm and friendly. =) at the swim meet, we even learnt their pinoy pinoy dance from team trace cheerleaders! =) and we received applause from the audience! =p they even wanted an encore so we can do it again... haha but too bad, the dj didnt seem to hear us.. so yeah. :) they asked for my email addy so they could add me on friendster.. which they did! and one of them even added me on MSN! and now we are like chatting everynight.. non-stop, no breakage of topics.. =) and bon jovi [one of them] asked me for my earrings for souvenirs.. haha.. they are so cute lah. then after each event we attend, there will be people asking us for our clappers/bongpong sticks.. =)
the gymnasts are really great.. all the executions of backhand springs, layouts, twist layouts seemed damn easy when they did all that! so effortless and graceful.. till now i still can't do it properly =( i miss the thai gymnastics coach. *sigh* but oh well! they got gold! :) so proud of them.. and most of them are really young... and with abs to die for. =( i think ah, to be a swimmer, you must be kinda good-looking or cute.. cuz.. look at our swimmers! most of them/majority of them are eye candies! haha...
then the table-tennis match was really a seat-gripping one... cuz the men's team was really driving us crazy! whenever we are leading by a good 5-6 points... yangzi/ xiaoli [can't remember which] will start losing.. and will be on par with the opponent. we cheered and shouted till we went bonkers.. and victory was sweet of cuz. :) cuz we sang national anthem again! hahahaha
and oh! we were also approached by locals asking us what sports are we competing in and all.. hahaha... there was once i was at stars n stripes and the waiter asked me, and i lied without batting an eyelid, saying that i was a gymnast. and he believed me! haha, damn funny can!?
=) we see how friendly our athletes are... how game they are to take pictures with us.. especially remy.. he's like damn crazy lah! didnt manage to take a picture with him though.. :) was really enjoyable...
me & jia wei
marcus cheah + me *beams*
our liasion officers at the table tennis match.. they learnt our cheers so they could cheer along with us! :D
jessilyn + i at the table-tennis match
ooh! xin and i always went to eat at outlets that cant be found in singapore.. the food's not too bad.. but i still prefer singapore's. :)
Welcome to Jollibee!
this is really cheese fries... cheese on cheese!
And then we have.... Greenwich!
shared between me and xin! damn nice lah can.
of cuz there were bad parts in this trip.. but the good ones overruled them all. :) like lousy, inefficient, indecisive leaders (but it was really fun, going against them, speaking up for what we want, just trying to get things done our way)... the splitting up of groups... always changing the buses we are taking for the day.. getting rashes, tendonitis and like being misunderstood and i got so angry that i threw the remote control in my room against the tv cabinet and it shattered into like 4-5 pieces.
but i think this is one of the best trips magnum ever went on together.. we had so much fun.. all these can be seen in my flickr photo album... so must go check it out! cuz it's damn time-consuming trying to upload them here on my blog.
http://flickr.com/photos/kellychai/sets/1529248/
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