What I want

I dont want anything. I want my space. I'm losing myself again, I need to find me back. I don't want to live my life trying to fit into someone's world. I want to be happy, as me, to be known as me. I have so much in me, but it just gets stuck inside and doesn't want to come out. I know it's bad for my system and it's driving me crazy.

I can't sleep without crying. I feel miserable. I don't know what I want. Leave me alone. Let me curl up in my little corner and die.

materialistic birthday wishlist

for the past few years, my birthday wish for each year is to be happy. but arghs, happiness is always short-lived. there's no short of people stepping on my nerves, selfish people who only thinks for themselves, people who insists on being total assholes and there's no end of projects to drive me crazy. tell me, how to be happy like this? I've decided, if emotional fulfillment isn't going to take place, materialistic ones will.

for friends who want to make me happy, the following are ways to make me a really happy and loved girl.

1) Sony Clie PEG-SJ33


I'm tired of toggling between different organisers to record ppl's birthdays, deadlines, important dates, performances' dates and all. I'm tired of wanting to blog badly at a particular point of time but because im not able to record it down, i've lost the inspiration to blog. i need it to play music for me when im on the move, block out the voices of people who wants their conversation to be heard by everyone and say goodbye to silent bus-rides where TVmobile is non-existent. This is the thing that I need to record everything down, Sony Clie PEG-SJ33.

2) iPod 20GB

:) music keeps me occupied and happy in my own little world. make me happy, wont ya?

3) Fossil Watch

I know I know, I have a problem with punctuality. It's all because I don't have a watch! Give me a watch and I'll be on time.

Either this:

or this:

looks darn good on my wrist. ;)

4) Lomo camera [pop 9]

It's a want, not a need.

5) Money
If you dont know what else to get me, gimme *kaching* $$!! it can get me ambercrombie tops and skirts and pretty nail polish and all.. :)

And after telling you what I want... lemme tell you what I don't want to receive.

Soft toys
Forever Friends bear, Tatty bears, all this soft plush toys; Enough. My room and bed is full of it.

Organisers
I don't need them if I have the Sony Clie

Alright, I gotta stop blogging. More urgent things at hand to handle. *sighs*

inverse relationship: amount of sleep decreases, level of bitchiness increases

it's over.
At least for Advanced Advertising.
was pretty dissatisfied at how things turned out... contests with really lousy prizes that no one in the right mind would wanna join.. last minute preparation and all.. hate caught unprepared. pffft. But the process was fun. Coming up with the bus-hanger and bus ad designs... majorly time-consuming but totally worth it.. FUN. :) it's all over for now.

If given another chance to present to the corp comms... I would swear that this campaign will go into realization.. oh well, high flightly unachievable dreams. tsk.

Back to IMC. Just completed my poster. Shan't divulge too much, you never know how many pairs of prying eyes are out there eyeing on this innocent blog, hoping to dig out information. urgh, i shudder at that sickening thought.

I need sleep. Before I go crazy and start running after uncooperative people with a parang.

But before that, I need to BITCH big time.
I hate to spot people. I'm the most innocent party, I get injured without even attempting a stunt. If i got injured while doing a stunt, it's worth it. BUT IT'S DEFINITELY NOT WORTH IT WHEN SOME UNIDENTIFIED DANGEROUS FLYING OBJECT (UDFO, in short) APRROXIMATELY 235765764532423 WORTH OF MASS LAND ON ME!!!! And my face got stepped on! NEHNEH!!!

Thanks to the Big-Foot who trampled on my pretty face for giving me half a burning face, (courtesy of his track shoes) which resulted in half a face worth of pimples. NEHNEH. PUTANG INA!! URGH. Now my neck is stiff, shoulders sore and aching. NO THANKS TO UDFOS AND BIG-FOOTS. pfffft.

nothing much really :)

what's the most difficult musical instrument to master to you? the guitar? drums?

for me, the most difficult instrument to master would be the vocals. there's alot of techniques involved in singing. like using your diagphram and controlling your voice, yadayada u get the picture. and it must be taken care of really carefully. everyone has their own signature sound to their own voice which makes everyone slightly different. and you can take it anywhere you want to... cuz it's within you! :) so convenient right

i love singing when i was a kid. but for some reason as i slowly grow up.. perhaps because my parents thought that i was making too much of a din singing... =p hence i've lost touch with singing. you know, it's interesting/fun to listen to songs... and find out how the various singers sing.. *lols*

you know... when all the datelines are met... when everything's over... i would like to take up vocal lessons... make use of what god gave me... and have fun in doing whatever i like to do.. :) even though it means i hafta break quite a number of glasses. =p

10 commandments of being my boyfriend

I think I shall state the 10 commandments of being my boyfriend. Nah, I'm not that difficult.

Thou Shalt Not Dress Sloppily When Going Out with Moi.
Oh com'on, I take time to dress nicely to go out with you and it's just basic respect that you do the same too. Wouldn't take you too long to just have a clean shave, dress decently and smell nice, no? Call me self-conscious, whatever, but I think you would feel good if your other half is dressed smartly and not sloppily right? Would hate the thought of people staring at us like how did they ever attract each other and become a couple. Urrrgh.

Thou Shalt Not Talk too much about self unless I feel like talking.
Sometimes, silence is better than saying anything at all. I'll get sick, really sick if you keep talking about you, yourself and everything else non-stop. If I don't feel like talking, don't force me into a conversation. I'm tired of talking, explaining myself all day long during countless project meetings and the best you could do is to enjoy the silence with me. And wait for my cue to say it's okay to talk.

Thou Shalt Not Question Moi.
Very simple to understand, no? I hate being shot more than 5 questions about the same thing. Think carefully, choose wisely the burning questions you need the answers to. Will not answer after the 5th questions. I'm sick of explaining myself. When I inform you of stuff, take it as it is. Ask questions only if necessary. I repeat, I will only entertain 5 questions. Choose your 'Who', 'What', 'When', 'Where', 'Why' & 'How' questions carefully.

Thou Shalt Not behave lovey-doveyily if I'm not in the mood.
If there are days where I want less contact with you, just let me be. I hate the feeling of being clinged on. Some days, I just dont wanna be touched. If you are really dying for some physical contact, let me offer you my knuckle sandwich.

Thou Shalt Not Behave in an insecure manner under any circumstances.
I hate insecure guys to the core, period. I like guys who are confident (read: not overly-confident) of themselves and I'm attracted to them. I don't like guys who keep wondering what's going on when I'm out with another guy friend. I fricking hate this line "Have fun, but don't have too much fun without me" Like WTH!?! It's an irony isn't it? I would very much prefer my boyfriend to say "Hey, enjoy yourself and tell me more when you get back alright?" + *hughug*. there you go, a model example of how it should be like.

Thou Shalt Not Ask my friends to baby-sit me.
I know it's a really sweet gesture to ask my friends to make sure I drink enough water and keep myself warm and whatnot, but I'm a 19 year-old, not a 9 bratty year-old! Let me take care of myself until I've proven otherwise kk?

Thou Shalt Not Whine.
There's a fine line between acting cute and whining. And I like neither. I like my guy to have a sense of humour and not afraid to laugh at himself. And make me laugh as well.

Thou Shalt Not Call more than 4 times a day.
You know, my life as a president and a mass comm student is hard. I can't get through a goddamn day without having to pick up a call regarding project meetings or performance requests. Sometimes I just need that bit of silence to keep my sanity and I would really appreciate that bit of silence to better enable me to proceed on with my projects. Sometimes, I don't need that idle chat. So let's keep it to 4 calls a day alright? One morning call (repeated morning calls not counted) and one call before I sleep each night. You've got 2 calls left to use, with discretion. Keep calling, I'll keep count. :)

Thou Shalt Not State boundaries of my freedom.
I need to feel free in a relationship, think you've known that very well by now. The tighter you hold on to me, the harder I'll struggle to break free from your clutches. Give me space, I'll give you love. Fair trade, no?

Thou Shalt Not...
Because I'm female, I suffer from bouts of fickle-mindedness. So this last commandment will be left dangling, until I make amendments as and when I deem fit. *sigh* I love being a female. :)

Continued from yesterday's post

The unlikely magician - Jessilyn.


Enjoying their lunches... Redza, Roc, Grace

YY & Kenny enjoying their lunch in the middle of nowhere.


After eating... the best thing to do is to lie down.. and sleep... and GROW FAT. =X


Kenny looking very 'teh' to get YY's attention. Ehhh, that only works for girls, guys dont try that or risk looking gay.


MRT heading for Jurong East MRT station.


Peaceful roads...


Carpark in paradise? hehe :)

You know, I was really happy I brought along my digital camera. Cuz my finger just wouldn't stop pressing the shutter to capture pictures. =) I really enjoyed running around to snap pictures. Can't wait for the term to end to start my picture trail.


And for today, I went to catch....
Charlie & the chocolate factory!


Tim Burton... an amazing director.. and Johnny Depp is sucha brilliant actor. He can really do quirky characters! :) First, the pirate from Pirates of the Caribbean, and now as Willy Wonka! I'm very much enchanted by the movie.. Man.. I would give anything for a day to tour the chocolate factory..


Lucky ppl who managed to tour the factory... @#$%~`#!~@#!!

One of the more memorable quotes from the movie:
Everything in this room is edible. Even I'm edible. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Willy Wonka

Cuz I caught the movie with Mr Boyfriend at JEC, we happened to chance upon this shop that sells perfume.. and miniature perfume bottles! Damn cute lah, can? I want them all!! If I like this scent, I'll buy the big bottle of it. If not, the small one will suffice. :)

Alright.. It's late. Time to hit the sack!

The days passed by....

Bringing you images from the National Day Observance Ceremony @ Convention Centre:

Me and Siti :) in the changing room backstage!


10 mins before show-time.. Grace & Jessilyn still putting on make-up...


Mean Girls portrait: Siti, me, Syaza & Jen. JuLeen missing. =(


In the VIP Lounge, mingling with the VIPs. Eating till our stomach's content. In picture: Syaza, Siti, yours truly.


What big mouth you have, Weicai!

Today's National Day rehearsal at Jurong East... We were showered with free ice-creams!! :D Kenny happily helped himself to a total of more than 6 ice-creams.. that crazy fella. First kola tonic parade... now ice-cream parade... i wonder what's next...

Presenting the orange flavoured ice-cream gang! Back: Redza, Yongyao, Kenny. Front: Siti, Grace


"What? You offering me a half-eaten ice-cream when there's so many ice-creams in the freezer??"



Weicai enjoying his ice-cream :)


Nothing is impossible. Jessilyn shows you that you can study anywhere, and everywhere.


Noisy, or rather spirited JJCians. I love the strong school spirit that dwells in each and everyone one of them..


Make-up artist for the day: Siti!

More to be updated later on.. tired out now..

what the hell are project meetings for?

im so tired.
so sick and tired of facing only 2 people during a meeting with a group that has a strength of 6 people. sick of going there early [now im going for meetings late] and having to wait for the rest of the idiots. and it helps to have more heads around to think of ideas, esp when advertising is such an intensive industry. arghs!

i could use that extra bit of sleep. why do i even bother to make the extra effort when the rest isn't? what the hell. stupid me and my over-achiever mentality. sheeesh. its time to contribute, or get the boot people.

think it's the crankiness talking. that aside, today was pretty alright. went for the national day observance ceremony performance. it was alright, not our best though. oh well... at least i hope that performance lent some credibility that we are the 5 year champions and we are well on our mission to correct ppl's judgement about us. hrmpf.

disappointed in some people's attitude and mentality... you know already you're not as good, so why are you complaining that you aren't that strong? why show your flaws proudly? sheeesh. it's to your disadvantage. and i hate whiny people around.

arghs, forgive me, it's the crankiness from the lack of sleep talking.

little triumphs in life

sometimes when we are all stressed out and all that shit, we just need to take a step back and breathe. and maybe take a couple of minutes to remember the times we made it through all that crap and emerged victorious, wearning eyebags and dark circles as our badges of victory.

yes, i can do this again, at the expense of my health, and perhaps whatever beauty i've got left. was well on my way to recovery and school always have a way to put up obstacles to recovery. *tsktsk* lecturers should talk to each other and take into consideration the stress levels they are putting us through. it's crazy to have to submit like 3 things in a week. and my dad's complaining that im always on the pc. like hello, do i have a choice unless i wanna get a big FAT 0 for my assignment? *tsktsk*

and it's times like this where little triumphs in life makes your day a little more bearable. =] like perhaps getting a sit on the crowded bus and snooze all the way home [without the presence of any pregnant women or elderly folk], getting good grades for an assignment you worked your butt off for, getting little praises from people about your work, yadayada, you get the point.

:) just another 3 more weeks. take a deep breath, and breeeeeeaaatheeee

Second chances

you know, one exciting thing about being in mass comm is that we get to venture beyond our comfort zones to meet new people. for example, feature writing. recently i came up with a story angle about an ex-offenders' experience in re-integrating back into society. it required me to do quite a bit of research before i could actually decide where to go to interview people.

so i dropped by The Helping Hand, twice. Once to scout for the location and to request for an interview with the president of the organisation who no longer existed (nehneh, never update website one!). and the second time, to conduct an interview with the ex-offenders.

situated in upper serangoon, the premises appeared very peaceful and you can't tell that they were ex-offenders at all. some of them had tattoos and all, but they all seem like normal people whom you meet on the streets. so i met the new president and then he was really nice and looked for people for me to interview.

the interview was fruitful. i interviewed an ex-armed robber-cum-drug addict (*horror* he looked so cheery and pleasant!!) and a drug pusher-cum-addict. they were quite reserved and not quite sure if they want to reveal certain information of themselves. either that, or the drugs really damaged their brains. but im thankful they are even willing to speak to me (because i hate facing rejections). they even invited me and ron who accompanied me to stay for lunch! :) see, they are nice people who just needs a second chance..

school's organising some sort of a walk for the yellow ribbon project... gonna get people to go with me! :) its for a good cause okay...

*sigh* the weather's really perfect to snuggle in bed and sleep the day away... but i got stupid stupid project meetings that i cant miss! =(